Understanding
by SerenaRiis
Summary: After Loki's defeat, Thor yearns to see his brother return to his old self. Loki, however, knows the futility of this goal and convinces Thor to let him perform one last spell to allow Thor the understanding that he seeks.
1. Chapter 1

"Understanding"

Summary: After Loki's defeat, Thor yearns to see his brother return to his old self. Loki, however, knows the futility of this goal and convinces Thor to let him perform one last spell to allow Thor the understanding that he seeks.

Chapter One

Loki sat on the floor in his cell in Asgard, staring at the blank wall before him with no emotion. It had been little more than a day since he and Thor had returned to the eternal realm of the gods, and he had been placed in the cell only moments after arriving. Not a word had been spoken to him by anyone, even Thor. The shackles binding his hands together had been replaced with smaller silver bracelets that prevented his magic from being accessed. With irritation, he noted that they had not deigned to remove the muzzle from his face.

If it weren't for the fact that there was no comfortable way to rest in the cell, Loki would have fallen asleep long ago. The lack of entertainment alone was boring enough for him. He perked up for a moment as he realized that the silence was about to be broken.

Footsteps so loud and heavy could only belong to one person, and they were echoing closer and closer to his cell.

The steps came to a stop just outside Loki's cell. "I wish to speak with my brother. Please open the door."

Loki would have groaned loudly if the muzzle had allowed for it.

The guards outside apparently saw no reason to disallow Loki his visitor. 'Even though Odin clearly stated that I was to receive no visitors until my sentence had been determined,' Loki thought drily. The door to the cell opened and suddenly the small room was filled with the presence of his once-brother.

Thor gazed at Loki for a few moments and Loki returned his stare with as little emotion as he could. If Thor was waiting for Loki to speak, then the Thunderer would be in for a long wait. Just when Loki started to wonder if the great idiot had forgotten the purpose of his visit, Thor pointed his hammer at Loki and began to speak.

"It is not too late, Loki. I truly mean this. I understand that you believe there is no coming back from what you have done, but... Brother, you need only ask and we will help you."

Loki arched an eyebrow at Thor and was almost thankful that his voice was currently out of his reach. If Thor honestly believed the story he was telling than there would most likely be no way of convincing the fool of his naivety.

"It does amaze me, Brother, how you so easily assume that just because you are not of our blood, that we will turn our backs on you. How can you throw away all that we lived through together? Why would you not instead confide in us, your family, what which bothers you?"

Loki's eyes narrowed, pointed in Thor's direction. 'The idiot actually thinks that all of my actions derive solely from the discovery of my true parentage?' Loki thought incredulously. The hard look deepened. The fool had taken to pacing in the small room, which frustrated Loki because he would be unable to see the glare pointed his way.

"I cannot think of a time when I would have been unwilling to hear you out, Brother, if you needed it. My friends on Midgard would describe you as insane, but I cannot see how one of your intellect could fall to such actions and behavior without ample reason."

Thor paused in his pacing and eyed Loki thoughtfully. He stepped closer and lowered Mjolnir to the floor near Loki's feet. Loki didn't bother to even look up to meet his bro... Thor's curious gaze.

"I understand that you would feel stress upon discovering your true parentage, unimportant as it was, since you will always be of our family," Thor stated, as if he could understand just what it felt like to have his reality wrenched out from under him. Loki glared at Thor's shoes with distaste, wishing that the guards had, for once, followed the orders to restrict all of his visitors, regardless of how boring it had been.

Thor hadn't finished with his speech, however, so Loki resigned himself to enduring more of the blundering idiot's words of wisdom.

"But even that stress does not seem to me to be great enough for you to want to kill me. It makes even less sense, Brother, for you to attempt to rule Midgard," Thor crouched down before Loki so that there was little choice for Loki to meet the Thunderer's gaze. Thor's softly spoken words nearly caused Loki to flinch, more so than his incredibly loud voice ever had. At the moment, Loki didn't want to dwell on the reason why those words affected him so.

"I truly do wish to understand you, Brother..." Thor stated, once again drawing Loki's attention back to him.

Loki thought on the comment for naught but a second before throwing an exasperated look at Thor and motioning to the muzzle that had him silenced. Thor seemed to ponder this for a moment before asking, "If I remove the muzzle, Brother, will you help me to understand?"

With a tired nod, Loki raised his hands in deference to Thor's question. He honestly had no reason not to answer Thor's question. Besides, the fool would most likely not leave until had received what he had come for – an explanation that would suffice for Thor as to why Loki had changed so much. Loki sighed mentally. It truly was a lost cause.

"Very well, Brother," Thor said as he leaned forward to unlatch the muzzle. Seconds before he could do so, a call came from outside the cell. Apparently, the guards thought that the removal of the muzzle would be breaking an order that they actually cared for.

"Peace, friends," Thor said as the guards opened the cell door and stood inside. Thor stood and smiled disarmingly at them. "I assure you that my brother holds no ill intentions to you, nor will he attempt to escape." At this, both Thor and the guards glanced at Loki, who still sat upon the floor of the cell. Loki nodded once again, working hard to restrain himself from rolling his eyes.

Reluctantly, the guards assented to Thor's words and backed out of the cell, once again leaving Loki alone with Thor. Kneeling again, Thor reached forward and unclasped the muzzle from around Loki's face.

Loki rubbed a hand over his face, thankful that he can finally move his jaw. "So," Loki whispered harshly, turning an icy gaze towards Thor. "The Mighty Thor wishes to know what led the evil Loki down such a dark path." Loki chuckled bitterly even as Thor shook his head lightly.

"You are not evil, Brother."

"Am I not? Did I not just convince you? Or perhaps you were merely unimpressed. Or perhaps I should ask why you feel I need to be redeemed if I am not as evil as you all think?"

"You are twisting my words yet again, Brother," Thor commented with a low voice, moving to sit with his back along the wall next to Loki.

"Indeed I am, Thor. How perceptive of you to notice."

Thor growled, not in the mood to be dealing with Loki's witty comments and silver tongue.

"Brother..."

"_Brother_," Loki mocked, turning to sneer at the idiot. Only the idiot was no longer sitting next to him. Thor had jumped to his feet and grabbed a fistful of Loki's shirt, pulling him to his feet and pushing him against the wall. Loki grunted at the impact but held his tongue.

Without loosening his hold, Thor spoke evenly, "I wish to know what it was that corrupted you, Brother. I only wish for you to come home, you... the Loki I grew up with, before-"

At that point Loki opened his mouth to voice how idiotic Thor's ideas were, but Thor slammed him back into the wall once again. Loki was fairly certain that the wall had several new cracks running along it at this point.

Thor continued on in a hard tone as if nothing had happened. "Before it is too late for me to find you."

Finally, Thor loosened his grip slightly and Loki relaxed against the wall. "And if nothing corrupted me, if no being or object acted to affect me in such a way other than myself, what then, Thor?" Loki hissed. "If you found that it truly was me, the same Loki that you've always known, would you still have me redeem myself in your eyes?"

Thor nodded once and said, "Yes."

"You'd have me apologize and seek approval of all those that I have wronged?"

"Yes."

"And you would have me change who and what I am until I fulfill this delusion that you believe is your brother?"

"You are my brother, and you need only learn from your mistakes and vow never to repeat them to redeem yourself. You know this," Thor responded.

"And if I do this oh-so-simple task that you've ordained for me, then everything will go back to how it once was?" Loki asked quietly.

"Yes."

"No."

With that, Thor let go completely of Loki's shirt and stepped away so suddenly that Loki staggered against the wall. The two were silent for several long moments before Thor turned back to Loki and put on his most pleading look. It was one that had often fooled those that they grew up around.

"What do you possibly have to look forward to if you continue on this path?" Thor asked, seeming just as tired as Loki had prior to their conversation.

Loki barked out a single laugh and answered, "As if the Allfather will ever allow me freedom again. Whether I attempted to redeem myself or not, my future remains the same."

"It is not so, Brother!" Thor pleaded. "Father wishes for you to return to us as well."

"Even if I were to redeem myself – a foolish notion that you seem to think me capable of – what makes you think I would want to return to how life was 'before'? Why would I want to, once again, be no more than an untrusted figure seen only in your shadow?" Loki commented bitterly.

Thor let his shoulders fall and stared at Loki with a disheartened expression. "It that truly all you remember?" Loki looked away, unwilling to start down that path. Thor straightened and spoke again. "Then I will ensure that others see you for what and who you are!"

Loki chuckled lightly at Thor's words. "Ah, but Thor, they already see me as the monster that-"

"You are not," Thor interrupted, not even choosing to finish his statement. Loki swallowed, not seeing a speck of truth in Thor's words.

After a long moment of silence, Loki replied, "If I am to escape your shadow, Thor, then I must do so on my own. Any other method will only act to solidify the thoughts of others that I am nothing more than your shadow." Loki looked down, wondering why he was being so honest with his words. Perhaps it was the fact that he would most likely not have another chance in the foreseeable future to do so.

Thor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I refuse to give up on you, Brother," he said quietly. "I refuse to believe that it will ever be too late for you."

Loki rolled his eyes and huffed in disbelief, the actions more a reflex to Thor in general than to the words that he was speaking. "The sentiment," he spoke and saw Thor turn away from him before he could add in a whisper so quiet even he can barely hear it, "is appreciated, Brother."

The pause in Thor's movements tells Loki that Thor heard his words, and thankfully, the idiot has gained enough wits not to question it. Loki turned away and bit his lip in frustration. 'Why did I say that?' Loki thought angrily.

Behind him, Thor spoke again. "Brother, please let me understand so that I might help."

Loki knew there was no way to describe to Thor the answer that he needed. Instead he muttered quietly, "Please leave, Thor."

"I will not. Not until you show me why redemption is as impossible as you say it is."

He nearly laughed again before his mind raced around Thor's words. "Show you..." Loki pondered. He turned to face Thor abruptly and said, "Remove these accursed bracelets that bind my magic and I will show you completely, Thor."

Thor hesitated and answered, "Loki, you know I cannot..."

Loki laughed and sneered, "You speak of redemption and yet you will not grant me trust enough to_ try_!"

"You swear only to show..." Thor stated, trailing off uncertainly.

Loki held up his hands to display his intentions. "I swear only to make you see why I can never come home, as you put it."

"You will not bring about anymore chaos?" Thor asked carefully.

At this, Loki chuckled and answered, "That is something that I will never swear to. I do so swear not to hurt or kill a single being through this demonstration. In fact, I swear that the effects of my magic will remain only between the two of us."

Thor held Loki's gaze for a long moment before nodding and saying, "Very well."

With that, he reached forward and unclasped the bracelets from around Loki's wrists. Almost immediately, Loki felt his magic return and he reached up and held his hands to either side of Thor's face.

Thor didn't have time to react before the magic enveloped him. The air around the two shone with a green light and then cleared just as quickly. Thor went limp in Loki's arms, and the younger god lowered the unconscious Thunderer to the floor.

Outside the cell, Loki could hear pounding footsteps approaching. He grinned from where he crouched on the floor next to Thor and muttered, "Let us see if you can understand it now, _Brother_."

So... thoughts? Please review and let me know – I hope this isn't too repetitive of a topic... If there's something you'd like to see, then please let me know! If you are interested, let me know what you think Loki's spell should be like! :)


	2. Chapter 2

"Understanding"

Summary: After Loki's defeat, Thor yearns to see his brother return to his old self. Loki, however, knows the futility of this goal and convinces Thor to let him perform one last spell to allow Thor the understanding that he seeks.

Chapter Two

Loki barely remembered the guards tackling him away from Thor's slumped form. Within seconds, he had his face shoved roughly into one of the walls of the cell. At nearly the same moment, he felt the magic-restricting bracelets being forced back upon his wrists.

He pushed against the guards slightly and tried to speak, but all that earned him was a vicious shove against the wall again. Loki grimaced, for without his magic, all of this manhandling would most likely result in bruises that wouldn't fade as quickly as he would like. 'Not that a minor thing such as a bruise matters,' Loki considered sardonically, 'when Odin will surely kill me for what I've just done.'

Loki was held against the wall for several long moments as a healer ran in to check on Thor. 'They won't find a single thing wrong with the fool,' Loki thought, wishing he had room enough to shake his head at their actions.

Sure enough, the healer shook his head and straightened with a look of confusion crossing his face. The guards looked toward the door in unison as heavy footsteps drew closer. Loki drew his gaze away from the door, away from the guards, and focused on what he could see of Thor's hair behind the guards and healer.

Odin stood in the doorway and glanced at the situation with a stern eye. "Out!" he barked, and the guard holding him abruptly let go. Loki watched as the guards and healer jumped to obey the command. They inched around Odin until he and Loki were the only ones in the cell.

"What have you done to him?" Odin asked with reproach, staring at Thor's figure on the floor. Why the fool of a healer hadn't removed him to somewhere else, Loki didn't know.

Loki kept his eyes on the floor and thought about how best to answer Odin's question. He certainly wasn't about to explain what had actually happened. Not only would no one believe it, but they would automatically condemn him for attempting to corrupt Thor. 'That they would worry that I would corrupt Thor. The fool isn't capable of being corrupted,' Loki smirked.

Naturally, Odin noticed his smirk and misread it. "You think this to be a joke?" Odin growled, turning to face his wayward son.

Loki held up his hands in a calming manner which, as he should have known, only led to make Odin tense up even more. "Please, if it had been this simple, would it not have made more sense for me to try this first before going to all the trouble that I have as of late?"

The air grew thick between the two and Loki knew immediately that his had been the wrong answer to give.

"When will he awaken?"

"I cannot be certain of that. It depends upon how he reacts to the spell and what deci-"

"You have cast a spell on him?!" Odin shouted, and Loki felt himself shrink further away from the man. "A spell that lasts for a length that you know not? Tell me now how will it affect him!"

Considering that he was the God of Lies, it should have been simple for him to lie and state that the spell would end shortly. For some reason, however, he found himself speaking naught but the truth. "I know not how it will affect him," Loki explained softly, hesitating at the furious look on Odin's face. When the Allfather did not interrupt, Loki took it as a sign to continue. "It is a conditional spell. It depends on the decisions he makes while under its influence."

The expression that Odin was giving him was one that Loki was having a hard time reading. It didn't convey anger, disappointment, or frustration, but it also lacked any trace of happiness, pride, or even love. Not that Loki would ever expect the last three expressions to be directed at him anymore.

"Loki, my son..." Loki bit his lip softly at the title. "You would do well to acknowledge Thor's trust and hope for you."

"Do you say that because Thor is the only one willing to think so highly of me?" Loki spat, the words out before he could truly think them through. "Or because you have no trust nor see any hope for me?"

This time it was a bit easier to interpret Odin's expression. It was a strange mixture of disappointment, regret, and loss. The disappointment was something that Loki easily understood, but the regret and loss were not what he had expected to see. Without a word, Odin turned away from him and strode out of the cell.

Loki didn't move as one of the guards and the healer came and lifted Thor, carrying him from the room.

When the door to the cell slammed shut a moment later, Loki leaned against the wall and slid down until he sat on the floor. With a sigh, Loki reached over and grabbed the muzzle that had fallen to the floor seconds before Thor had. He considered what Odin had said – that he should acknowledge Thor's trust and hope for him. Loki's grip on the muzzle tightened. 'In what ways would it be acceptable for me to acknowledge such sentiments?' Loki thought angrily.

He would have liked to take his frustration out on the muzzle, but there was no destroying the accursed object. Without his magic, Loki would only be lucky to dent the surface. Though, to be honest, he was rather surprised by the technology of it. Somehow, Stark had it and the damned bracelets tuned to his magical signature in a way that only prevented him from removing them. Anyone else could do so, but not Loki. He tiredly closed his eyes and loosened his grip on the muzzle, letting his thoughts turn to Thor.

How long would the spell last? Loki had been completely honest when he had declared his lack of knowledge on the subject.

Until then, he figured that it would probably be best to attempt to heed Odin's words. With an amused huff, he reached up and clasped the muzzle back around his face. Perhaps they would see it as an act of obedience and leave him alone. Besides...

He needed to check on Thor.

Loki leaned his head against the wall and concentrated, only to wince as he realized how much his head hurt. Hanging his head forward, he decided that some rest would be in order, and then he would visit Thor. 'Hopefully the idiot won't have already ruined everything,' Loki thought tiredly.

* * *

Thor woke slowly. He couldn't remember being this comfortable for quite a while, and he was enjoying it. The bed was soft, and the sheets were cool against his skin. His eyes opened slightly and he could see the sunlight of Asgard streaming through a nearby window. He closed his eyes and relaxed again, very tempted to fall back asleep. He had just started to drift off when a loud banging noise echoed through the room where he'd been nearly sleeping.

"Brother!" a boisterous voice boomed. Thor cringed at the noise and shot up out of the bed, ready to place a glare upon whomever it was that had burst into his chambers in such a way. He flicked his gaze to the doorway and had opened his mouth when his words went dry.

For standing in the doorway was himself.

Thor stared in amazement and barely registered what he was seeing. 'Could I not be entirely awake?' Thor thought, though he had never before had any trouble finding the difference between being asleep and being awake. He discreetly pinched his arm under the sheet and his eyes widened as he realized that he was indeed awake.

"Brother, have you been listening?" Thor started at the statement and look back to... 'What do I refer to him as? He is not me...' Thor thought, but nodded regardless to the question. In an unfamiliar situation, he deemed that it would be best to approach with caution.

"Excellent! Then you will be ready shortly? We will see you on the training floor!" The other Thor grinned widely and punched the air enthusiastically before he left, leaving the door wide open as he did so.

Thor sat upright in the bed, staring at the space that had recently been occupied by his apparent double. To say that he was confused was an understatement. He reached up a hand to run it through his hair but froze when he got a look at his hand.

Something was wrong. His hands were usually quite large, and though his fingers were long, they were certainly not as thin and clean as they appeared now. Suddenly, a spark of suspicion rose up in him and he jumped off the bed with its dark green sheets, darted past the bookshelves, and came to a stop in front of a tall mirror that stood near the elegant closet.

Growing more and more worried at the familiar, yet unfamiliar to him, surroundings, Thor stared into the mirror, not believing what he was seeing.

Staring back at him was Loki.

Thor shook his head in disbelief and stared as the reflection of Loki mirrored his movement. He ran a hand through his – Loki's – hair and watched as his new reflection did the same. Everything about Loki looked just as he remembered, though the reflection seemed a bit younger than Loki had in the cell. Thor started as he suddenly remembered the spell that Loki had cast on him. 'This must be some effect of it,' Thor speculated, 'though why he'd wish me to wear his image is beyond me.'

"What is the meaning of this spell, Brother?" Thor muttered to himself, somewhat startled to hear his words come out in Loki's voice.

"Really, Thor, and you call yourself my brother," a voice not unlike his new one sounded from near the doorway. Thor spun on the spot to see Loki pushing the door closed before walking across the room to lean against the wall near the window, gazing out upon the city of Asgard.

"Brother, what is this? Why am I wearing your image?"

Loki tilted his head away from Thor and eyed him with amusement. "You believe that I can be redeemed. I do not. Consider this your opportunity to show me, first hand, how I would ever be able to achieve such a thing."

"You wish for me to bring about your redemption in your stead? What purpose will that serve, Brother, if you are not the one to earn it yourself?" Thor asked, bewildered at the task that Loki had set for him.

"Who says it must have a purpose? Perhaps I am merely making mischief. Or maybe this is yet another of my evil schemes to get you out of my way. For your sake, I do hope it is not the latter, for it will make your endeavor much more difficult."

Thor felt his shoulders slump at Loki's words. His brother truly felt that there was no coming back from what he'd done. It was as if he had so little faith in his family that he didn't even think it possible that they would grant him a chance. The thought tore at Thor's heart and yet, it also made him feel that much more empowered to prove to Loki that returning was possible.

"I do not believe this to be a scheme, Brother, nor do I believe it to even be a bit of your mischief. You say that you see no hope for yourself, but this very action screams to me that you do, even if it is a much slimmer hope than I have."

Loki's expression narrowed into a glare as if he was irritated that Thor could possibly be so perceptive.

Thor glanced around and thought back to the brief conversation that he'd had with his past self. The context didn't fit with any of the events that he'd recently experienced. A second glance at the mirror showed how much younger his reflected image of Loki looked than the projected image of Loki that still leaned against the wall, glaring at the floor.

"You have returned me to years previous so I can act as you and convince others of what I already know?" Thor stated more than he asked, wondering just how far back he'd been sent.

"More or less," Loki responded quietly, the glare on his face easing into a calmer expression. "I considered letting you start out in the cell, but I doubted you would have any luck whatsoever there."

"What happened to you needing to do this on your own?" Thor asked, though he knew there would be no changing Loki's mind on carrying out whatever spell he had cast.

"Consider this an experiment. I wish only to know if there are any chances for success before I go to all the trouble of attempting it." Loki added a small smile at the end of this explanation, though he still didn't look up at Thor.

"Loki..."

"Come now, Thor. You and those friends of yours wish to spar this morning. I do wish you the best of luck."

Before Thor could even think of a response, Loki had vanished. Reluctantly, he turned to find clothes that would be suitable for sparring, remembering that he should probably stay true to the styles that Loki preferred, lest anyone discover what was really going on.

He managed to get ready only seconds before the door to Loki's chambers - his new rooms - flew open again. Standing in the doorway was his younger self, beaming at his supposed little brother. Thor grinned as well. Sparring sessions always did cheer him up.

* * *

Thor followed his past self through the long hallways until they reached the sparring rooms. During the walk, Thor heard his past self speaking of how bored he was and other trivial things. He wondered idly how long it had been since he'd been able to become bored of his surroundings. So much had happened in the last year.

Thor grew more excited as they approached the rooms. He was looking forward to figuring out how Loki fought, and he was interested in seeing how he would fare against his past self and their friends.

Thor paused at the doorway to the sparring rooms and looked to his past self, who had stopped him with a hand to the shoulder. 'I don't think I'll ever get used to looking myself in the eye in such a way,' Thor thought as he waited to hear what he - his past self - had to say. 'Not that referring to myself as a different person isn't already giving me a headache.'

"None of your tricks this time, Brother. Tis a weak form of fighting for one that is meant to be a warrior. Besides, Sif is still rather upset over what you did during the last sparring session," his past self explained.

"No tricks?" Thor asked, wondering why he would ever resort to such things. "Ah, you mean magic." He remembered these moments from throughout their lives, where he had tried to prevent Loki from using such sneaky and underhanded methods in order to defeat his adversaries. The attempts at intervention rarely worked and, more often then not, only provoked Loki to cause further mischief than he would have originally.

"Indeed, Brother."

"I shall refrain from doing so," Thor answered. Perhaps he could not only gain trust from the others for Loki, but he could also show his brother that fights could be fought and won fairly.

His past self grinned at him before bursting noisily into the room. He immediately called Hogun into the sparring area and the two began to practice. Thor leaned against the wall and watched the two for several long moments. He shook his head a bit at how much more obvious his moves were years ago than how they would be in the future, after all of his experience on Midgard.

Thor didn't notice when Sif quietly walked up to him, and he started in surprise as she spoke. "Rumor has it that you actually intend to give a fair fight for once, today." Her words were soft, but Thor could easily hear the sarcasm la ing each one.

He kept his eyes on the two sparring before him as he answered, "Indeed, my lady." There was a loud thump as Hogun hit the floor after finally getting knocked down by Thor's past self. The two had been using only their bodies to fight, and Hogun eventually shook his head from where he was pinned before being let up. Fandral was summoned up, and the blonde jumped up excitedly.

Sif smirked beside him and responded after the next spar had begun, "We'll see the truth in your words, Trickster. Besides, I still owe you for last week," she said, nearly growling the last sentence. Thor wished he could remember this far back to know what Loki had done that had riled her up so much.

The two kept their eyes on Fandral and Thor's past self, who were sparring quickly, not staying in one spot long enough for the other to strike. Several hits got through, however, and Thor had always been stronger than Fandral. The blonde was projected out of the sparring area and into the wall. Thor watched, amused, as his past self grinned and walked over to help the man up.

Fandral sat down near the others that were watching and commented, "About time, Thor. I was beginning to think you'd lose to me!"

Thor glanced to his right and saw Sif roll her eyes dramatically. His past self walked up to him and clapped him on the shoulder, jolting Thor from the wall. "Brother, you should go next. Lady Sif, will you join him? I'd like a moment to rest and to watch."

This time, Thor had to refrain from rolling his eyes. The sparring session had only taken twenty minutes. Nevertheless, he turned his gaze to Sif just in time to catch a heavy wooden spear that she tossed to him.

"Do try not to turn it into a snake, or something equally ridiculous," Sif stated clearly as she strode to the center of the room. Behind him, Thor heard the others snicker at her remark.

"I believe a simple spear will suffice," Thor responded with a smile. He was starting to really look forward to wiping the smirk off her face, which wasn't something he usually yearned for. Nevertheless, he stepped out and held himself at the ready.

She jumped to attack him almost instantly. Thor quickly realized that though Loki was slimmer than most, he was quite strong. He wasn't as strong as Thor was, but closer than many could achieve. As he darted to the side and deflected her blow with his spear, he found that another of Loki's strong points was his speed.

He spun quickly to get behind her and swept the spear out in front of him, which was when he realized something else: Sif was smaller and, therefore, ever so slightly faster.

She dug the end of her spear into the floor, halting the movement of his. At nearly the same moment, she spun to kick him in the stomach. Thor grunted and jumped back so that he could try another approach.

What followed were a series of quick strikes against one another as they brought the sides of the spears together. Thor shifted his hands along the spear as they went, so that he could better combat the strength she was throwing at him.

Suddenly, his right hand flared with pain and he dropped the spear from that hand, long enough for her to shove him to the floor with the end of hers. Thor lay on his back, slightly dazed from what had happened, before he realized that he had lost.

He, Thor, had lost to Sif.

He, with all of his superior experience, had lost to Sif.

He sat up and watched as the others gave cheers for her success. Thor brought his right hand up and saw a long gash along the back of it where Sif had hit him. He was surprised she hadn't broken the spear.

His brow furrowed in thought. 'Loki could still beat her in sparring,' he thought. 'He at least beat her the majority of the times that she would actually consent to spar with him.' It was true that Sif was not a weak warrior, but she certainly wasn't perfect, either.

Thor stood and walked over to the group, taking a seat along the wall. He discreetly wiped his bleeding hand on edge of his sleeve and gave Sif a small smile.

"Excellent job, my lady," he said respectfully. Though it stung a bit that he'd lost so quickly, he knew enough to be respectful. The others nodded towards him before turning to observe Volstagg and Hogun taking a turn to spar.

It was always amusing to watch the overly boisterous Volstagg spar with Hogun. Volstagg's dramatic movements seemed to draw a mix of dry amusement and sarcastic eye-rolls from Hogun. Just when it looked like the two might wear themselves out before ending the spar, Volstagg managed to known Hogun down in a spectacular swing that nearly sent the smaller man flying. Thankfully, no walls were damaged this time around.

The others cheered and Thor grinned from his seat upon a stone bench along the wall. With a cry for a healthy meal, Volstagg led the way from the room after pulling Hogun to his feet. Sif and Fandral jumped up to follow as well. Thor watched as his past self lingered a moment to speak with him, so Thor rose and walked to the doorway to meet him.

"I must commend you, Brother," Thor heard his past self say to him, and he looked up to see his own eyes smiling at him. It was a strange sight. "It was good of you to give a fair fight today. I fear that Sif may have actually tried to kill you if you had not."

Thor smiled and responded without thinking, "Why would I give anything other than a fair fight?"

"It is rare that we see such honesty from you, Brother," the Thor of the past commented lightly. He then eyed Thor carefully and asked, "That is, providing that you are not trying to lure us into a false sense of security..."

Even though he was fairly sure the tone was a joking one, Thor's eyes widened at the words he was hearing. 'Surely we weren't always so skeptical of Loki's actions,' he thought. He had never considered how such words sounded when they weren't directed at the speaker.

His past self gripped Thor's arm with a smile and said, "I just advise you to leave Volstagg's meal untouched. He'll not be happy if it's been tampered with again."

With that, Thor was left alone in the sparring room. He considered following after the group, but he decided instead to head back to Loki's rooms. Perhaps his brother would make another appearance and let him be free of this strange reality he'd been thrown into.

* * *

I can tell already that writing about conversations between Thor and his "past self" are going to drive me insane... let me know if you have other ideas for that :)

Also, I am so sorry about the long wait since the first chapter - my computer died and I only just got it back a day ago. I will be updating more frequently (and storing my files in multiple ways) from now on!

Please review and let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

"Understanding"

Summary: After Loki's defeat, Thor yearns to see his brother return to his old self. Loki, however, knows the futility of this goal and convinces Thor to let him perform one last spell to allow Thor the understanding that he seeks.

Chapter Three

Thor waited until nightfall, but he saw no sign of his brother. He attempted to call out Loki's name, but he didn't want to do so too loudly for fear that he'd only drive the others to think that Loki truly was insane. He didn't really want to try to explain why he was calling out what was supposed to be his name. Instead, he was left alone with his thoughts for the evening, and he found himself confronted with ideas that he'd never considered having before.

During little more than an hour with his past self, the Warriors Three, and the Lady Sif, he had experienced a reception so unlike any that he'd faced before. The only time that came close was the regard that Midgardians held for him upon meeting him. They usually looked upon him with uncertainty, since they were unfamiliar with him for the most part. Even so, most of them eyed him with respect due to the power and strength that his personality alone exhibited.

Just wearing Loki's appearance brought a whole new set of reactions to Thor, and he wasn't sure what to make of them. The reactions from each of the Warriors Three seemed very similar to how Thor remembered, though they had a touch more suspicion and hesitation to them whenever he had tried to talk to them. Sif, on the other hand, had thrown him off guard a bit by much she challenged his honesty and capabilities. She had appeared downright smug after she had knocked him down and Thor couldn't remember a time when she'd acted that way after beating anyone else.

The reaction that bothered him the most, however, was that of his past self. The fact that he would have questioned his own brother's integrity in such ways frustrated him, even though every time Thor had done so, he'd assured himself that he had good reason to question Loki's intentions. Oftentimes, Thor would be suspicious because Loki had, within a week or less, caused mischief amongst the household and sometimes the general population. He knew that Loki must have done something to anger Sif in the previous week since his past self had mentioned it, but Thor could not remember what it was. He shrugged and sat down at a desk of Loki's, deciding that it was only fair for the others to be suspicious of him after he had supposedly caused mischief.

Thor lifted a small book that had been resting on the table titled, "Illusions of the Mind." The book, like all of Loki's books, was well-taken care of. It was probably several hundred years old and yet the cover showed no scratches or marks, and the pages within were clean and the words were clear. Thor shook his head with a smile and set the book back on the table. It was ironic how someone that could be so careful with certain possessions could also become so destructive, both to himself and to others.

Even though it was late, Thor stood and headed to the sparring room again. If there was any way that he could prove to his family and the others that Loki could be trusted, then it would be to show them that he could succeed without having to rely on magic or other seemingly dishonest methods. He'd practice more often than he used to so that he could learn ways that Loki could fight without resorting to magic or tricks.

Just after he stepped out of Loki's room, the shadows near the window shifted. From within them, a pair of green eyes narrowed in curiosity.

Loki didn't want to show himself very often since Thor would inevitably throw a barrage of questions at him. He smirked slightly at that thought. It would only prove that Thor had no idea how to improve Loki's standing in the eyes of others.

He had watched silently as Thor paced in his old room, obviously considering the events of the day. He had grimaced exaggeratedly at how apparent Thor's thoughts were. Even when the fool was wearing his face, Thor still managed to show the same expressions. It both amused and aggravated Loki greatly.

He closed his eyes and concentrated and found himself hidden in a shadowy corner of the sparring room. Thor truly was too predictable for his own good. He leaned against the wall and watched quietly while Thor practiced with a spear, obviously wanting to improve his skill with it before going up against Sif again. Loki rolled his eyes as he thought of the session from earlier in the day, wondering how long it would take Thor to resort to more... creative methods.

It became obvious while Loki watched Thor practice that the idiot was not used to using anything other than brute strength to make his attacks and movements useful. Loki took great pride in how gracefully he could move; it was one of the reasons why he did tend to use magic as a method of battle. It was more agreeable to a flowing style of movement. Thor, however...

Loki watched as Thor nearly tripped over the practice spear that he was wielding and almost burst out laughing at the sight. He was prevented from doing so partially because he would also be laughing at himself in a sense, and he had no wish to do that anymore. The thought of laughing made him wonder why he even bothered watching what Thor was doing in this reality. A dozen reasons came to mind, though none of them truly seemed to fit with how he felt at the moment. It was true that he had nothing better to occupy his mind at the moment, other than to await the Allfather's decision on his punishment.

He wanted to think that it was just for amusements' sake that he was watching Thor. Loki shook his head in denial, however, since observing Thor's latest predicament had at best made him smirk with wry amusement. Even more, he felt dismayed that the fool was not encountering more success. Just by itself, Thor's personality was not one to dislike, and it was strange to see him treated the same way Loki had been just because he was wearing Loki's appearance.

'_Thor thinks that he need only prove to them how honest and trustworthy I can be. He thinks it to be a simple task_,' Loki thought with disdain. He had tried numerous times to be exactly what the others had wanted him to be. It only led to a mass amount of frustration for him and smug looks from the others, who knew that leopards could never really change their spots for good, not even with magic. He scowled at the floor and crossed his arms, wondering again why he bothered to step in and watch Thor.

A moment later he heard footsteps approaching and looked up to find Sif walking confidently into the room. She smirked when she saw her previous opponent practicing with the same tools. Thor paused his movements to watch her make her way towards the wall where the other practice spears were stored. She selected one that was appropriate to her height and then stepped into the middle of the floor and held herself in a defensive pose against Thor.

Such late night practice sessions were not unheard of for Thor or Loki. More often, however, Sif would accompany Thor. Loki watched as Thor arched an eyebrow at the dark-haired warrior before falling into a similar position of caution against what she may attempt. Loki was almost impressed that Thor didn't greet her in his usual, boisterous way. '_He must still be upset about his loss from earlier_,' Loki thought with a huff of amusement.

The two started to spar lightly, neither one coming close to actually trying to knock the spear from the other's hands. Neither of them spoke for a while as they circled each other, drawing together to exchange mild blows before pulling apart briefly. Loki had experienced several confrontations with Sif that mirrored the one he was currently observing. They were rarely this silent, though Loki had learned that the quieter Sif was, the more she was irritated about something. Loki hardly ever cared enough to find out why she was so bothered or why she felt the need to vent around others. He usually would go along with her actions without question, but not without comment. She was too easy to rile up.

It seemed that Thor wanted to try the untested approach. After several minutes, he spoke hesitantly after the two pulled apart for a moment.

"You seem preoccupied, Lady Sif," Thor stated, hoping that she would answer his unspoken request for her reasons.

She narrowed her gaze at him and Loki watched as the two drew together again, this time with slightly more intense blows being exchanged. Thor noticed the change in her demeanor and adjusted accordingly until they pulled apart.

Sif circled him and finally responded to his words. "You would say I am preoccupied. I would probably say that I'm still more than a bit irritated due to your antics last week."

Thor was trying to keep his face neutral, Loki could easily tell, even though he was failing miserably. What Thor probably hoped to be seen as an apologetic expression still looked more confused than anything. Loki couldn't really blame him much though - he had offended Sif so many times that it was pointless trying to keep track of each situation.

"If it would please you, Lady Sif, then I apologize for my previous actions," Thor said quietly.

Sif rolled her eyes with a look of intense frustration and swung her spear out towards him, exchanging blows for a few moments before pulling apart yet again. With a huff, she stated, "Forgive me if your apologies mean nothing to me. I find it very hard to believe that you would actually feel remorse for all of the lies that you made me speak!" It was clear now that she was angry, though both Thor and the hidden Loki were anything but angry.

Thor's expression morphed into a look of amused understanding as he remembered the prank that Loki had pulled on Sif. Loki, meanwhile, nearly bit into his tongue in the shadows in order to keep silent as he laughed internally at the memory.

The day she was speaking of had been filled with praises directed at Thor after the Thunderer had bested Loki in a sparring session. It had been embarrassing for Loki to have lost as quickly as he had, and Sif's words hadn't helped him calm down at all. He had stormed off, frustrated with her taunting words, and found a rather interesting spell in one of his many beloved books. He promptly decided to cast it on her and found that she was much more enjoyable to listen to after the spell had taken a hold of her.

Loki laughed silently again. The spell had forced her to speak only praises of Loki for the remainder of the day. Despite all of the pleasant words she said to him that day, she tried her best to kill him in order to cancel the spell. He finally relented when Thor agreed that enough was enough.

Apparently, Thor had been amused by the event as well. He smiled as he remembered all of the kind things she had said to Loki, with all of her words laced with an indescribable amount of hate and anger. Unfortunately, Thor's smile at the memory only triggered a return of the anger that Sif held for him, and Loki cringed as she fiercely attacked Thor with her practice spear. She was wielding it more like a sword than a spear, and if it had been a real weapon, Loki feared that Thor might actually have met his end at his friend's hands.

"Loki! You are the most awful, terrible, worthless excuse for a-" Sif screeched as she brought down relentless attacks on Thor. Her words were halted though when Thor lashed out with his spear and pushed her back as he spoke sternly.

"You will not refer to him as worthless," Thor stated, pointing his practice spear at her with a glare on his face. Loki watched the scene in surprise, shocked that Thor would defend him in such a way when he wasn't even around - at least, not that Thor knew of. Loki's thoughts were interrupted as Sif groaned in irritation. **  
**

"Now you're referring to yourself in the third person?" She stepped back another step and pulled back her spear. "And here I thought your ego couldn't get any bigger," she remarked steadily.

Thor had realized his mistake but obviously thought better than to try and correct it. Instead, he lowered his spear and stepped toward her with a sigh. "Lady Sif, I do apologize for my actions. It was wrong of me to manipulate you like that, and I hope that I can make it up to you in the future."

Loki rolled his eyes at Thor's words. Someone would be bound to catch on if 'Loki' kept talking like Thor so often.

Thor wasn't graced with a verbal response from Sif. She merely walked toward him and slapped him fiercely in the face. Without another word, she shoved her spear into his spare hand and walked out of the sparring room. Loki watched with a grimace as the situation unfolded, thankful that at least no one else had witnessed the display.

Meanwhile, Thor moved both his and Sif's spears to one hand and touched the spot where Sif had struck him with his other hand. Loki considered the dismayed look that crossed Thor's face as he put away the spears and made his way out of the room, heading in a different direction than Sif had gone.

As Loki stood alone in the now dark sparring room, he crossed his arms in thought. He couldn't identify if the feeling he felt was amusement at what had transpired or disappointment. With a tired sigh, he decided to leave the matter be and closed his eyes, returning once again to the barren cell that he'd been occupying for the last day.

* * *

Thor would never admit how much Sif's response discouraged him. Now that he'd been reminded of the prank that Loki had pulled, Thor could remember it more clearly. It truly had been amusing to hear Sif praise Loki for all of his skills, especially his more questionable skills, all while glaring hatefully at his little brother. If he hadn't seen it happen, he never would have believed that such a murderous expression could accompany the kindest of words.

Though he had found it amusing, Thor had eventually told Loki to release Sif from the spell so that she wouldn't kill him. As it was, she nearly impaled him with several weapons when he'd been removing the spell. All that had prevented her from doing so was the fact that the spell might not stop if she killed him before he could remove it. Thor chuckled and wished that Sif could have had a better sense of humor about the whole ordeal.

He spent the next few days wandering through Asgard, stopping by to visit several places that he hadn't seen in years. He wasn't sure how far back Loki had sent him, but it couldn't be more than a few years based on how things had changed. Standing on a hill that overlooked a good portion of the city, he wondered how long Loki intended for him to remain in this reality. He sighed and hoped that his brother would make an appearance so that he might ask him. Then again, Loki probably wouldn't answer.

Thor noticed that the Bifrost was still intact, which made sense, but he was surprised to find himself drawn to it. He stopped himself before heading out too far on it, however. He had held himself back from talking to many people already since they would never have responded the same way to him when he didn't look like Thor. And though he liked to believe that he knew his brother well-enough to act like him, Thor knew that he would never be as adept at fooling anyone as well as Loki could, especially Heimdall.

As he stood in the warmth of the sun, Thor considered the fact that he hadn't seen much of his mother or father since he'd appeared in this reality. '_They must be busy with meetings or other plans,_' Thor assumed. It was not uncommon for the palace to receive frequent visitors that asked all manner of questions for the Allfather to answer. If he was being honest with himself, he would admit that he was nervous to see how he was received by his parents while in Loki's form. He was anxious to find out, but also worried that their reactions would disappoint him.

His thoughts were interrupted by his past self's voice as the larger man strode up to where Thor was standing. "Brother, I have been looking for you, thinking you to be busy with something. And yet, here you are, looking as if you have not a care in the world!"

'_Is that honestly what I look like?'_ Thor wondered, baffled that all of his worries expressed themselves on Loki's face in an apparently carefree manner.

"I've decided to go on a bit of an adventure. I trust that you'll join us?" Thor's past self stated as if the answer was obvious.

Thor nodded his head once and said, "Of course. Where is it that you're wanting to travel to this time?"

Thor's past self glanced at him and answered slowly, "I have not yet decided. Do you have any places in mind, Brother?"

It was interesting how easy it was to tell when someone wasn't being completely truthful, especially when that same person rarely held the truth from anyone. Thor wondered why his past self would lie to Loki, but he knew there would be no point in trying to find out. Instead, he glanced out at the Bifrost and responded, "Midgard would make for an interesting trip."

At this comment, Thor's past self eyed him strangely. "You've never before expressed a desire to head for Midgard, Brother." Thor didn't respond, and his past self took the silence as an opportunity to speak more. "Though I think that Midgard would most likely be a boring comparison to make to some of our other trips."

Thor glanced at the clouds as he tried to remember if there were any significant trips that he had taken following the prank that Loki had pulled on Sif. He, the Warriors Three, Sif, and Loki had gone on many adventures, and none of them stood out to him at the moment. He nodded again and said, "Let's not make it too adventurous of a trip. We don't want to cause any rifts between Asgard and other peoples."

His past self laughed and clapped a hand on Thor's shoulder as he spoke, "Oh Loki, you will ever be the responsible one, won't you?"

Thor smiled hesitantly at his past self and nodded, "Someone has to be."

"Of course. We'll plan to leave in a week's time. You should join us when we prepare for the trip, Brother," his past self spoke as he turned to head back to the palace.

Thor nodded, recognizing the line that he'd spoken many times in the past to Loki. His little brother rarely actually joined them before the trip began. He usually preferred to make his own arrangements, not wanting to rely on any of the others to bring or supply something he may need while away. Thor resolved that he would attend this time around. Hopefully, he could use these opportunities to show the friendlier, more trustworthy side of Loki.

Later that night, after slowly making his way back to Loki's rooms, Thor walked to his own rooms. He had nearly done so numerous times already, having been so accustomed to walking automatically to his own quarters every day. Changing that pattern to go to Loki's room was going slowly, but at least he hadn't been seen turning around suddenly in the hallways.

When he reached his old rooms, he saw that the doors were opened and that the Warriors Three, Sif, and his past self were already there, making plans for the upcoming trip. Various gear, clothing, and weapons were scattered about, and everyone was inspecting each piece to ensure its ability to hold up to another adventure.

Reminding himself that Loki wasn't one to just walk boldly into a room, Thor paused in the entryway and knocked on the edge of the door frame. His past self looked up and grinned at his arrival, gesturing happily for him to join them.

"Brother! We are trying to pack these items into the bags but they will not fit. Can you arrange something for them?" Thor's past self asked, lifting up a large amount of clothing and a rather small bag. Thor almost rolled his eyes; of course they were having a difficult time of it.

"Certainly, Thor," he responded. It still felt strange to address himself. He wondered if he would ever grow accustomed to this reality. He took a seat on the floor near the others and reached for the pile that his past self was handing him.

As he took the clothes and began to fold them tightly, he heard Fandral comment quietly, "He folds better than any maiden I've ever seen." Volstagg and Hogun smirked at the remark while both Thor and Sif eyed the blonde with dry looks.

"Fandral, you should not insult Sif so much as to insinuate that I could possibly fold better than she could," Thor responded with a smile. Sure that his words would please Sif, he turned his smile towards her only to find yet another glare directed his way. Thor turned his gaze back to his work and continued packing the clothes tightly into the bag before him.

The atmosphere after that was a bit tenser than it had been before, and Thor was seriously wondering if there was a correct thing he could say around Sif that wouldn't draw a glare out from her. '_Perhaps she merely needs more time to get over what Loki did,'_ Thor considered. The group worked quietly, though Thor's past self traded light comments with everyone about previous adventures.

"How much water will we need to bring?" Volstagg asked Thor in between telling exaggerated tales of past adventures.

Thor glanced up in time to see his past self look down before answering, "We shouldn't need much, though I suppose it would be wise to bring enough for a day or so, just in case."

"So you've decided where you're going then, Brother?" Thor asked his past self curiously.

He was surprised to see his past self shake his head and say, "No, not entirely. I will speak to Father about it."

Thor narrowed his eyes at his past self before finishing folding the clothes he had left. He noticed that none of them were heavy clothes, which meant that at least they would not be traveling to Jotunheim or a similarly cold place. That still left too many options though. He looked around at what the others were working on and saw that there wasn't much left to do.

He set the packed bag down before his feet and stood. "I'm going to go find something to drink. Let me know when you've decided where we'll be going."

The others nodded at him as they continued at their tasks and he turned to leave. He walked several paces down the hall before pausing in his steps. A moment of suspicion washed over him and he looked back toward his old rooms. He wavered for a moment before deciding and then quietly crept back down the hallway to linger just out of sight near the door of his past self's room.

Thor didn't hear anything for a few minutes and started to wonder if he had been wise to attempt to overhear anything of import. His thoughts were interrupted, however, by his past self's voice.

"I do think it would be wise to let Loki know where we're going, Sif. You're being unreasonable about this whole situation."

"I have dealt with enough of his mischief for one month. I refuse to give him an opportunity to plan for something to happen while we're in Muspelheim. Tell him a day or two in advance, but if you tell him now, I will refuse to join you." Her tone brooked no arguments, and Thor was further disheartened to hear it.

What followed must have been a nonverbal response of some sort, for the only thing he heard was Sif's voice again.

"No, Thor. I know you think I'm being unreasonable, but if he's going to pull stunts like that, then people aren't going to trust him. If you keep giving him the benefit of the doubt, then he'll just keep taking it."

Thor heard the Warriors Three mutter in what sounds like agreement, but he heard no response from his past self. Silence followed for another minutes, but Thor didn't want to wait around to hear any more. He had to use a lot of will power not to storm away in frustration, but he managed to walk away without drawing their attention.

He walked until he reached an open hallway that overlooked a courtyard. Sighing in frustration, Thor sat upon a windowsill and gazed out over the plants and flowers that had been carefully tended to for probably hundreds of years. He wondered idly who took care of the plants before letting his mind wander away from the words that he'd overheard just moments before. Not for the last time did he wonder if eavesdropping was a bad thing to do or not.

An hour passed, during which the sky grew darker and the stars shined brighter. Thor was about to head back to Loki's rooms when he heard the telltale footsteps of his past self approaching. '_If this is how loudly I walked, then it is no wonder that Loki always knew when to expect me,'_ he thought with a smile.

"Brother, you did not return," his past self asked in one of the quieter tones he possessed.

Thor turned to look at him and answered, "I didn't say that I would."

"Indeed," his past self agreed. The two were silent for a long moment while Thor considered his next question.

"Have you and the others decided where to go yet, Brother?"

Thor watched carefully as his past self grew self-conscious, turning his gaze to the gardens behind Thor rather than meeting his eyes. When he spoke, his words were uncertain. "We have not yet come to an agreement."

Thor merely nodded in response. Inside, he suddenly grew cold and he shivered lightly. '_I wouldn't have let Sif's petty problems get in the way of letting Loki know such simple information,' _he thought. '_Would I?'_

His past self had finally turned to look at him, and Thor nodded slightly and said, "Very well." He watched as his past self visibly relaxed at his response.

"Will you attend dinner tomorrow? Father and Mother wish for us to join them, now that the last week's business has finished."

Thor was surprised by the dread that rose up in him at the suggestion, but he forced it down while thinking, '_If I act normally, so will they!' _To his past self, he nodded, which made the man smile brightly.

With that, his past self departed for the night and Thor waited a moment before jumping down from the windowsill to stretch slowly. To say that he was not looking forward to the next week was an understatement.

* * *

Well... the rift between Loki and Sif was not something I was planning on writing, but it just kind of happened. Wow, those two are going to work really well together!

Please take the time to review! Let me know what you liked, didn't like, and what you'd like to see from Odin! Also, big thanks to "YouThereinTheTrunks" for the help in creating ideas for Odin!


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